yesterday.. nothing much happened except that i was revising for HA.. pretty sucky cuz everytime i watch the video i fall asleep.. so i have come to a conclusion.. HA videos=sleep stimulator.. haha.. wth.. had to keep watching drama videos then come back to HA videos to keep myself awake.. and it worked.. i managed to do notes on my cue cards and rmb and practice the steps.. but sad to sae my efforts were gone to waste..

haiz.. today had HA test.. while waiting for my turn i was practicing on haymahn who is my model.. anxiety overcomes my brain.. rarrr.. my turn finally came.. freak!!! i kenna thorax and lungs.. was like "hmmmmm....." ms lee was like "why?...dun wan ah.. wad u actually wanted?" so i told her that i actually wanted HEENT and i ask her if can change thou i noe cannot.. haha.. she was like " haha.. mm.. noooo.. " haha.. so ya anyway, cont practicing b4 P(the name of the lecturer) came to test me.. she come in already scold me.. wtf! then ever since i start my skills she kept asking qs and picking fault with everything i did.. from inspection, pulpation, percussion and auscultation she everything oso sae i wrong.. some parts i really follow the videos and books but she keep asking qs that i nv hear b4 so dunno how to answer and she keep shaking her head, sighing, and bascially did alot of gestures which is very discouraging.. the moment she came in already i knew i today very diff to pass.. haiz.. sux man..

haymahn the most pitiful, kenna molested by both of us and also freeze in the cold while being topless.. haiz.. sorry girl.. im not angry with my work cuz i noe i did my best.. not angry with anything but her and her some of her stupid reasons why she failed me.. she said i wasnt consistent with my precussions and ausculatations and sae that i should have watched the videos b4 doing my skills.. like wth!!! i watched ok.. i watched the whole of last week, i watch the whole of yest... she make it sound as if i din even prepare anything on my part.. some parts i really went wrong cuz i seriously din noe wth she toking abt so ya.. the worse thing is that she failed everyone who kenna assess by her except for nor.. which is like out of 3 or 4 of us only one pass under her.. like wth man.. one stupid reason she gave why i failed cuz she sae i overtime.. i overtime by only 2 mins u noe.. when i went out, i heard from nor that she took 30 mins which is like 15 mins overtime and she passed... where is the fucking logic man!!! im not saying that nor shouldnt have passed.. wad im saying is that if u can give nor extra 15 mins, why would you even care about the 2 mins overtime.. like it even matters.. ultimately, patients are not going to care how long u take to assess them but more of the quality of the assessment.. if you fail me cuz my my poor quality then fine.. so why tok abt the extra 2 mins..???!!! nor sae u gave her extra time cuz HEENT is very long and alot of steps.. well.. thorax and lungs not that long but the steps do require time as well wad.. if cant hear prob then must keep repeating me mahx.. so wads ur prob with the time??!! rarrrr.. she makes me mad!!

after i failed, i sms-ed jianning, cassie and bavi.. jianning called backed and was like "huh.. u failed.. how come.. wad happened?" and was telling him the story and he asked me who was my assesser.. told him it was P and he was like"aiyo that one ah.. no wonder lahx.. she damn strict one and very hard to pass from her"haha.. thanx JN.. u are like a big bro to me.. haha.. thanx to all ur good lucks and jiayous even thou i never pass.. feel like i kinda let you down.. haiz.. i still owe you one.. =)

also thanx to haymahn my dear dear model.. i owe you chocs for making you strip topless and lay in that cold cold place with an even colder teacher.. haha.. thanx for consoling me and telling me that its ok and that we can continue practising till we get it rite.. it meant alot to me.. love ya girl.. =)

thanx to kinlai for everything and everything!!!!! =D
thanx to sher for everything and believing in me!! =D my bestie for life!!!
thanx to bavi for loads and loads of things.. too many too count cuz you hold all my inner thoughts.. haha.. love ya girl!!! =D

and also thanx to grace,sharifa, zawani, mk, jovy, bizhen, cassie and etc for wishing me good luck and like "consoling" me after i failed.. haha.. no worries.. i wun cry.. im just pissed thats all.. haha.. funnily at first, i kinda felt really down and when i received the damn shit ass white paper which said "failure in nursing lab assesment" i felt super demoralised and felt like crushing the paper and cry.. but i was controlling.. and i just kept saying bad words.. haiz.. sux man.. then sumting happened when i was leaving the room and it felt warm and nice and like maybe it was a blessing in disguise or wadeva so like i felt better after that.. haha..

chatting with JN on msn.. haha.. he sae he treat me eat ice cream to help to motivate me and ask me to jiayou.. haha.. JN, u are of the nicest seniors i have ever had and like a big bro.. haha.. thanx ya!! =) ps: i want cookies and cream flavour one hor.. haha.. kidding..

anyway, after psycho lecture which was i couldnt be bothered to listen to cuz my mind wasnt there anyway so i ended up playing hp games and played so many rounds till so sian.. rarrrr.. then after that went to put back amelia's lecture notes into her locker cuz i borrowed and jovy oso put.. then he started talking really loudly like scolding and shouting at me.. i couldnt stand it so i told him to keep quiet and he started shouting even louder so i shouted at him to shut up twice.. i guess he kinda got pissed cuz i was shouting at him so he walked away after scolding me something and its either that or cuz he never see me so angry b4.. then when walking to the canteen, grace told me to chill and not get angry.. thats when i realised that i must have shouted pretty loudly and scarily at him.. so i was like "eh.. i shout very loud and like scary when i was angry just now ah" and she was like ya.. then i felt kinda bad cuz i felt like i took out my anger on him so like haiz.. kept thinking abt it cuz i felt bad and i nv shout at anyone in poly b4.. even in sec skool i only shout at hannah foong i think.. so ya.. then when went back after buying food i said sorry cuz i felt bad.. and he like started toking back and we were back to out usual arguing.. haha.. thats much better than me shouting at him.. haha..

called ms lee to ask abt the remedial thingy for HA and aftr talking abt that she was like " roshini.. wad happen?".. i was like "ohhh.. i fail lor.." and she was like "aiyooo.. i noe fail how come?".. and i was telling her and ms lee damn nice lahx.. she was consoling me and telling me where some of the others go wrong and how to improve and stuff.. ms lee is a damn good tcher man.. thou sometimes she appears strict, we noe her true-self like she always laughing and stuff and whenever she noes i stress during skills she will try to make me laugh cuz i think my face can show whenever i am stressed(even haymahn could see when i was stressed just now).. ms lee, u rawk man.. haha.. u are nr0713's mother hen.. haha..

haiz.. then stupid tutorial with P again.. she really irritates the shit out of me man.. i hate her the way kinlai hates jenny C.. haha.. so we happily toking toking while P was teaching.. -sticks out my tongue to P- haha.. bleghs.. haha..

then met cassie after class to rot with her and yenyen while waiting for vanessa and yuanling.. haha.. then while waiting got this snr students i think asking us to do survey.. then got one part which sae wad u dun like abt nyp courses r wadeva.. then i and cass put"NO HA for YR1 students and no failure letter cuz its super demoralsing" haha.. then wait for almost 2 hours like that then i started feeling very lazy to go out.. haha.. plus delia cant go out cuz she doing proj.. so we decided to post poned our outing.. haha.. then i came home and wanted sleep but i just kept thinking about stuff so i couldnt sleep and decided to blog!!! haha.. so yea.. haiz.. super sian..

rarrrrrr.. im bored!!!!
i shall not give up for my HA test.. kinlai, germaine, sammy, jovy and to all those who failed: we shall not give up and try our best till the end yea!!!! jiayou together!!

to yuanling and jasmine: good luck for ur results day next thurs k!!! u girls can do it!!!!

i just realised that my blogskin the pic kinda depicts how i feel now!!!