29 july 2010 marks the 11th death anniversary for my grandma.. and i miss her..

happy anniversary kannu-patti!! i love you and i miss you sooo much!!

how i wish you are still here right now watching us grow up and watching my cousins get married.. how i wish you were still here to cook awesome food for us and at the same time transfer some of ur cooking skills to ur dearest 4th daughter aka my mummy so that she wun torture us with food that even she wun eat.. everytime she tries to do ur dishes she fails terribly.. me and big bro can vouch for that i swear!! if you were still around, mummy and kumar mama would be taking care of you and he will still be around and not migrated to canada..
i was only 9 yrs old when granny pass away.. but i still rmb stuff that happened.. me overnighting at her house every weekend and sleeping with her in her room while sometimes my brothers will be sleeping in the hall.. then mama will wake me up at 7am just to go buy prata for breakfast.. and he will kenna scolded! " just let her sleep lahx..you want you go buy urself!" hahaha.. and i will wake up at 11am and sit and watch tv for the rest of the afternoon and evening till i go home.. haha.. poor uncle! i miss her cabbage soup(which me and big bro totally love!!!!! and my mum cant make it for nuts!! i swear!!! she tried like so many times but it taste NOTHING like wad my grandma cooks!) i miss her sambal!! we all love the sambal.. its superrrrrrrrrr spicy, but we still eat it.. with bread or rice or just dip our fingers and lick it up.. its super tasty!!! and i love the toaster!! garlic toast anytime of the day!! yum yum..

when she still stayed at redhill, we will always go her house and rot there then go to the swimming pool and play with my other cousins..

0nce big bro slapped me and my shaky tooth dropped out and grandma scolded him like siao! haha!! serve you right nae!! and everytime when i get scolded or kenna whack by my parents i would take the bus and head to her house.. haha.. yes.. i was already rebelling even back then..

and i got into a car accident that very year during the june holidays and she couldnt take care of me cuz she was sick as well.. i rmb when she stayed at my house and mum was looking after her and she cant really walk that much.. she needed to go to the toilet and no one was at home.. only me and her.. i went outside to ask my neighbours for help but no one was around.. in the end, i took my brother's roller chair and somemore managed to help her to move from her bed to the chair and wheeled her the toilet, all the while wishing for someone to come and help me and almost close to tears.. i cant rmb if she fell or not thou.. if she fell its all becuz of me..and i was felt really guilty and like useless cuz i couldnt even help my own grandma.. i was really helpless then..

i rmb when i was primary 1.. after school.. granny was in the hospital for her dialysis.. mum forgot to bring her CAPD book.. and i had to take bus 190(from cck) all the way to sgh ALL ON MY OWN and bring the CAPD book to her.. and by the time i reached sgh bus interchange, the sun was already setting and the sky was very dark.. mum came to fetch me from the hill there(and noe even thou the bus interchanged has changed alot, everytime i see that walkway on my way home after work, i rmb that moment).. my very first time on the bus on my own.. mum and granny were so proud of me that they had chicken rice waiting for me for dinner.. haha!

i rmb her grumbling whenever the docs suggested to do another procedure for her and stuff.. she will scold aout her docs to us.. haha.. pretty farnie to listen.. "stupid doctor!! see lahx.. cut here and there everywhere!!" and blah blah blah..

the days leading to her death i cant really rmb.. but i know she stayed in the icu.. and my cousins told me that like my mum, i din cry when my grandma pased away.. i dunno why i din cry.. maybe part of me was sad but more relieved that the worst is over.. no more suffering for my grandma.. she is gng to suffer no more and is gng to be free of pain.. and the then first lady oso passed away a few days apart from her.. so it became a family joke that she is having a good time and drinking tea with the then first lady..

i guess wads good is that she is over her suffering.. thats why i told my mum that if she or dad are sick or wadever, just quickly pass away.. dun hang on for too long.. mum scolded me for thinking of them as burdens but thats not wad i meant.. wad i meant was the longer you hang on, the more you suffer.. so just, dun suffer and dun let ur caregivers suffer.. we have seen my grandma suffer and its heart wrenching.. its not a good feeling to see ur loved ones suffer at all.. of cuz..

this is the only readily available pic i have of my grandma cuz mum wanted me to help her with this a few months back..

the first picture is her and my grandfather aka her husband.. haha

the 2nd is at my parents wedding at some temple..

from left: grandfather, dad, mummy, granny

she is like damn tall lahx.. she is taller than her own husband and also my dad.. so ppl, stop asking why am i tall! its the tall genes i got from her! and i guess only i got those genes in my family cuz my brothers are pretty short for guys!





I LOVE YOU SUPPULAKSHMI W/O NAGALINGAM aka GOH POH CHENG! and i miss you.. i really wished you were right here with us, like you never left..

i dun usually post songs or lyrics on my blog.. but this is for you! and this song is one of my fav songs!