bad week at work, worse week at home!

seriously fucked up! and nae, i noe you will be seeing my blog so im telling now!! be happy if ur ship/plane wadever gets delayed in coming back home.. cuz there is no joy in being at home anyways.. you come home and all you will feel like is leaving this damned place! so take ur time.. no need to rush coming back..

say all you want cuz i have given up.. given up long long long ago.. you keep saying i create drama when my frens call home looking for me when im actually with them.. are u freaking outta ur mind!! why on earth will they call you if im already with them.. you think i only hang out with one person is it.. thats prob you not me.. cuz you live a sad miserable live.. and thats wy you are not happy when my life is awesome and thats only awesome when im NOT AT HOME!! cuz life is miserable at home! not a day of peace! and who are those fucking assholes who report my whereabouts to you.. if they have got the fucking guts to tell tales then they should jolly well come say hi when they see me! you call me ask me where i am, i tell you where am i.. you ask me who am i with, i tell you who i am with.. you ask me wad time am i coming back, i tell you that i will be late.. simple as that.. and most of the time wad i say its true.. why the hell would i say im in town when im not or vice versa.. and i very willingy stay out that late cuz i noe i have got so many buses that till get me home asap from all the places im usually at! if i noe transportation is going to be a problem, i come home to get the car or i leave from wherever i am early! im not stupid you noe! i do noe wad im doing!! im not a 5yr old kid! im 20! i earn my own living and i can do wadever i want!

you say my frens are bad just cuz im not home most of the time.. you noe why i dread coming home.. you think im really not tired after work! i tell you! the reason i go out even thou im fucking tired is cuz i dun want to stay in this fucking house! i dun want to stay at a place where i can scolded and blamed and shouted at for doing nothing! i dun even mind overtiming at work just so i can come home late.. this is my sad fucking life that has become like that cuz of you 2! you blame my frens.. you say they will backstab me and i will suffer one day cuz of all these ppl.. well you noe wad.. im happy to say that i haven felt betrayed by my frens b4.. and if one day, should i get betrayed then so be it.. cuz ive still got a bunch of other ppl i trust and can enjoy myself with.. all the dirty and crude things you sae reflect your fucked up thoughts that you have of your own daughter! which i must say are rather pathetic.. i talk back and you sae someone taught me to sae all these.. no one taught me.. oh no.. you 2 did.. you 2 taught me how to talk crudely rudely cuz thats wad i see and hear as i grew up.. you sae i have changed.. no i havent.. its called growing up.. its called fighting for urself.. its called knowing wads right from wrong.. its called justice.. you compare me and other indian girls.. sorry to say.. so now you think of urself as indians! wtf is wrong with you! one moment when you hate indians youre not and when you feel like it you are? your race doesnt change wad you are! you compare me with my cousin sisters.. one moment you complain about them, the next you are praising them.. one moment you dissing your family members, the next you are toking to themon the phone like they are ur best friends! wad nonsense.. at least i dun talk to a person i dun like and pretend as if we are frens just cuz you can get juicy gossip about the others! wad the hell is wrong with you.. is this wad all housewifes do?? and all this freaking godly fucking shit, save it for urself! i gave up on god cuz of you 2! if god really exist, all these shit wouldnt be happening.. you talk bad about other ppl but have you taken a look at urself and wad you are! you talk so well of my frens one moment and when you are pissed you talk bad about them! i dun even to say anything, even little bro sees it and comments on it! that proves how fucking screwed up you are! hypocritical and contradictory! i dun even understand how can one person sae all these things about ppl that barely noe! and sae more bad things about their own daughter.. and you noe, i wun leave this house.. why should i.. u tell me to jump down.. sorry to say.. i dun think that will ever happen cuz its a painful death and im scared of pain.. sooo nahh.. that aint an option.. you say that im going to be the next one to slashed.. well you noe wad, i cant wait!! then maybe at least i will be in peace not having to face all these anymore.. you noe why i dun really care or feel scared about all these slashings? cuz you can protect yourself as much as you want, but you nv noe wads going to happen the next moment.. you rush home cuz you scared you will kenna slashed but then guess wad happens.. as you are rushing and crossing the road, you get knocked down and die on the way.. so is it worthwhile? thats why i dun really care.. its no point.. they say when one door closes and another opens.. same thing.. as much as you try to run from death, death will surely find another way to get you.. its no point running..

my pt yesterday.. this 22 yr old fella.. he is paraplegic(paralysed from waist down).. and i was thinking prob born with it or kenna accident or something like that.. but no.. he was a normal kid.. when he was 9, he sat down.. and could nv get up after that.. drs couldnt say why either.. life is like that! shit happens! but you gotta keep moving on! so thats why i cant be bothered with wadever you say.. im going to do wadever makes me happy.. i dun care! cuz why should i, when i can just die the next moment..

i have managed to suppress and tahan all these bloody shit for 20 years of my horrible life and i will cont doing so just cuz i want to see how long more you can go..

im not a typical stupid girl who listens to everything you sae.. ive got my own brain and i can do my own thinking! i dun need someone else to work my brains for me..