alright.. i initially wanted to blog about all the happy stuff that i have done over the past almost 2 weeks but now i too pissed to do so.. so it will have to wait till im back from redang!

reader discretion advised: those who dun like vulgarities, pls exit now!

i just hate how my life is being controlled by you.. i do appreciate the freedom that you SEEM to give me but it just sux cuz deep down you are still controlling in wadever i do.. when im out you scold me for being out all the time.. when im at home, you scold me for being on my laptop for the whole day! like WTF! wad else can i do at home??? tv is so boring esp in the afternoon when they have no nice shows on tv.. why can you surf the net for ur stupid astrology bloody nonsense and god noes wad else but i cant watch my freaking drama in peace!! i dun seem to be disturbing you in any way!!! im minding my own business staying in my bloody room watching my freaking drama and you come in yelling at me FOR NOTHING!! and when im on the phone you yell even more louder! wads ur bloody problem! why do you care whether its an incoming call or an outgoing call when im the one paying for my hp bill! all you noe to do is to scream at me when you go fucking broke.. if you are broke go earn and stop shouting at everyone at home! i get it the worse always! thats the reason why i dun stay at home! you fucking spend most of your money on 4d and stuff!! wads the probability that you win! if you save all that money that you spend on lottery each week, you will be alot richer by now!!

you kept cursing me when i sae i want to redang with my frens! is that wad a parent should do esp when you noe that i need a break from all the sudying and attachments. nevermind the fact that you are not paying for anything, at least say "have fun and take care" or something around those lines but no.. wad comes from ur mouth is "i hope you go and nv come back.. i hope ur ferry capsizes" and blah blah blah.. how do you think that makes me feel.. im just fucking disappointed! i really wish i go there and something happens and i dun come back.. thinking about going there makes me happy but thinking about having to come back to home and seeing you makes me dread coming back..

you noe how long it has been since i went on a holiday.. and everytime we go its the same old place.. you are the one always suggesting to go somewhere diff and always end up going to the same place.. and when i sae im going with frens you say that frens are always more impt to me than family and that one day im going to get betrayed by a fren.. well.. i noe how i treat my frens and if they do betray me then its their conscience that will be guilty cuz im not guilty of anything and in a way, im glad to say that i have never been betrayed by any fren so far.. this is my last holiday b4 year3 where hell breaks loose and yet you dun want to set me free.. i dunno wads ur prob..

i gave you my holiday schedule the moment i knew when my hols were.. you took down on ur calender but did you even bother making any arrangement to go anywhere.. no.. just give me random dates and ask if im free.. well sorry.. i have already made plans.. and then you and dad make ur own plans w/o asking me whether i want to go and after booking the tix then you come and inform me! and when i mentioned about you returning me the money you owed me so that i can convert to riggit when i go for redang you claim that im picking a fight!! huhhhh.. i dun get it.. so you can go out whenever you like but i cant.. you can spend how you like but i cant!!you can have frens but i cant! your frens are gold, and mine are wad dust??!! HELLOOO!!! and wad happened to FAMILY OUTING!! thats family for you.. small bro, dad and you.. thats is wad family is to you and dad. cuz you dun care about me and big bro anymore.. you dun even bother asking us.. but when i sae i have made plans you always sae "ya wad!! you very busy with frens wad.. where got time for family!" and to bro "ya wad you only got time for GF wad!".. then wad about you! you only have eyes for small bro wad! come to me only when small bro is not around to accompany you out.. thats when you come calling me to go jb with you.. you dun even care whether i was sick or not! you dun care about the fact that i was freaking broke to see a doc.. i was broke and din see a doc cuz i dun wanna spend money on doc and i asked you whether can dad fetch me cuz i wasnt feeling well and the next day i was on morning shift, you replied asking whether i can pump petrol for dad.. i replied saying no cuz im broke till i dun even wanna see doc.. and you scold me for finishing my money, for being broke without even bothering to ask whether im ok not! so thats wad family is all about.. oh well.. last week even thou i wasnt feeling well, you KNEW i was running a fever and yet yelled and shouted at me and dragged me to jb! and when im with you, you dun see me! all you talk and think about is bro! should we buy this for him, wad do you think he likes, maybe we should get this!! HELLOOOO!!! look who is with you.. you want to buy for him, drag him along then, why me!!! then wad am i to you.. you always so called say " ohh wad am i to do without you, my only daugther" fuck that shit ok! cuz i dun believe in anything you sae anymore.. and never will i ever believe you.

some of my frens feel that im rude to you guys. but you noe wad, give respect and take respect.. i treat ppl how im being treated.. i dun freaking care if you elders.. if you scold me for nothing, then dun expect me to be nice to you.. if you want me to help dad out by paying for god noes wad, then you should have been nicer! not yell at me! thats not the way it works! bringing up the history on how last time you dun even the chance to go out with your frens and buy so many things will not change anything.. times change! you cant stick to the old times forever! and stop this whole godly shit CUZ I DUN BELIEVE IN GOD! and the reason i dun believe in god is because of you ppl!!! i stopped believing in god since the age of 8 or 9 and its the same for bro!.. and i dun wish to believe in him EVER! mind you, i dun hate god.. i hate you guys cuz you guys make god seem like whole other thing then wad he is supposed to be..


and as im typing all this, you continously enter the room and shout at me for hanging on the laptop the moment i come home! wad is it to you how I SPEND MY TIME! i dun get it! i dun lecture you on why your cooking sux or why you keeping inviting stupid ppl to our house whom I HATE, or why you can keep leftovers for 2 days and complain that we are not eating wad you cook and in the end you have to throw away the food.. im not im not im not!! so STOP STOP STOP AND JUST LET ME BE! why do you care whether i pack my luggage last minute or not.. if i forget to bring anything, im not going to call you to ask you to bring! i will just buy it alright! cuz moving your ass to bring my thing will cost me more than the price of that thing itself!

curse me alright, curse me ALL YOU WANT! cuz i dun give a fucking care! if you managed to read this blog post thanx to some bloody nosy person, I DUN CARE! i will just change my blog add once again!

just let me be and leave me in peace!




















cant wait to leave my house now!!!!!!!