today was a super tiring day.. haiz.. felt like i got scolded for something that i din even do.. how was i to noe if that patient has done oral toilet when i was transferred to that room after the usual oral toilet time.. kenna scolded for nothing and im so pissed.. then i made a big hoo hoo which i take all responsibility.. i shouldnt have done that and im sorry..(sorry cassie, i juz had to lament.. haha..) rarr.. i feel like the whole attachment thingy its taking its toll on me.. haiz.. in the morning during report passing, my stomach pain like hell for no reason.. felt like can faint cuz of the pain.. and its not those -i need to shit now- pain.. its those sudden shooting pain that last for like mins.. lucky brought the med so quickly went to take it.. by the time come back report passing over.. haiz.. sian..

was asked to take over another room today.. ok lahx.. juz that i felt very sad for these patients cuz they are not the type who can do stuff on their own... one have to be fed, two were like on oxygen machines, one is like totally totally weak like hell.. its so depressing.. then got this other auntie hu was suffering alot too.. haiz.. its damn depressing when u see ppl like them.. its like no matter how much u try to make it much better for them, u fail and i get so irritated with myself.. then there is this whole language barrier thingy.. cant communicate with dialect speaking groups and malay patients and again irritates the shit out of me cuz i swear i dunno wad they wan.. so i try to listen for keywords but doesnt help.. rarr!!!

ate lunch in the staff room today cuz dun have XF, kinlai and SY to accompany me.. they afternoon shift.. even eileen din come cuz she mc.. haiz.. help sn stephen to buy food too.. nuh food is like super de damn ex.. rarr.. trying not to spend too much this week cuz going out with XF, kinlai and XY on fri.. not sure whether eileen coming not.. super looking forward to it.. i guess its the only thing thats driving me to end of this week.. haiz.. XF super siao today.. i was toking to him abt yest then he suddenly burst into laughter.. then the others ask wad happen.. so i was telling the others wad happen when dad drove XF home last nite... haha.. then they laugh and laugh.. then SY say XF is qian da.. duh lahx.. almost got me into trouble.. then everytime we pass by he keep saying 'bye girlfriend'.. so i oso playplay lahx.. i oso sae 'bye boyfriend'.. people dunno us will think we damn siao can.. haha.. so farnie.. anyway kenna pep talk by this nurse educator guy called andy.. why do these ppl look so scary man.. rarr.. haiz..

then came home and juz bath and sleep till 6 plus.. mum went grocery shopping so she kept calling the house and my hp to call me come down to help her carry stuff up.. apparently i din hear cuz i was sleeping till i was drooling.. haha.. how glam.. then woke up and went to makan downstairs with mum and small bro..

i wanna say something.. but cant say here.. haiz..

anyway, sher, hurry come back.. ur best infinite fren is dying here.. =(